I
believe that older people should go MAD! That is, Make A Difference to the
world! This desire to Make A Difference usually takes hold when we hit 50. We yearn
to make a positive contribution to our local
community, our country or global issues. We are bursting with a lifetime of accumulated
knowledge and wisdom, empathy and caring and skills and talents. And we want to
enrich younger generations with all we have to offer.
When our kids grow up and become
independent adults, it’s possible to embrace a whole new lease on life. We have
the freedom to reinvent ourselves!
However
one of the problems older people can face is becoming too ‘self-centred’ and
fixated on their ailments and grievances. (I understand that many people are
dealing with chronic pain and serious illnesses that require focus on
self-care.)
For
healthy women and men over 50, the solution is to become ‘other-centred’. We all
need to ask ourselves: ‘How can I improve the
world by alleviating suffering and increasing joy?’
Ironically resisting
self-absorption and shifting to an outward focus benefits our own health and wellbeing.
There are rich rewards in being altruistic. Devotion to others brings a sense
of purpose, deep fulfilment and empowerment. Or if I can indulge in a snappy
alliteration: purpose, passion and power!
The opposite state of mind as we
age is a miserable option: a bleak sense of futility, emptiness and
helplessness, while wallowing in self-pity and resentment, blaming the new
fast-paced, high-tech workplace for throwing us on the scrap heap, stamped ‘obsolete’.
All human beings have basic
emotional needs to be loved, needed, wanted, respected, appreciated and valued.
These needs don’t stop at 50! Mature-aged people must play a valuable role in
the community as wise elders, earning respect and appreciation from the young.
Sadly in our youth-worshiping
culture, us older people are often not respected for our decades of life
experience, deep well of knowledge and the unique skills and talents we’ve
mastered.
Rather than complaining and
blaming young people for their bad attitude, it’s up to us to be pro-active and
create a valuable role for ourselves within our families as helpful
grandparents, local neighbourhoods, in national organisations or venture to
other countries to support those in dire need of our expertise.
My Story
We were happy living on the
Sunshine Coast in Australia. With a carefree beach lifestyle, an ideal place
for raising our kids, my husband and I had successful, thriving careers. I
enjoyed a high profile as a newspaper journalist and popular columnist, local
government councillor and in my 40s studied psychology and became a counsellor of a different kind!
And then eight years ago in 2009
we were ready for a major life change and fresh challenges. I had wanted to
live in the UK since my 20s.
Growing up in Australia I felt
displaced and isolated from the rest of the world, with my appetite for travelling
and exploring and global issues.
So we moved to London, which was
so thrilling! I devoured a cultural feast of musical shows and concerts,
weekend jaunts exploring the genteel English countryside, historic castles and
quaint villages and was blessed with a lifelong dream of being a travel writer,
with enviable trips to picturesque destinations in Europe.
Moving to the UK was a
homecoming for me, returning from the far-flung colonies where my English,
Irish and Scottish ancestors, some convicts, transported and incarcerated for
petty crimes, and some courageous sole migrants who left their distraught families
for the unknown, untamed continent 10,000 miles across the oceans.
But we returned to the homeland to
embrace bustling, multicultural West London and then the tranquillity of rural
Kent, where we now live with our cocker spaniels and hens, revelling in the
changing seasons.
I don’t miss being lethargic and
pouring sweat in the sweltering tropics.
Cosy in my coat and boots, I delight in crisp walks on crunchy leaves
in the woodlands and cheerful daffodils and shimmering carpet of blue bells come
spring!
You would think this pleasant,
comfortable life would be enough for me. But I started to get this gnawing
feeling, this MAD desire. Witnessing all the problems of the world, the
suffering, poverty, deprivation, trauma and abuse, the horror of war, my heart
ached with pain. The extent of tragedy on our planet is overwhelming.
I knew I couldn’t solve ALL the
problems of the world so I decided to pick one issue I feel strongly about – stopping
little girls from suffering the horrendous abuse of female genital cutting. As
many as 8000 girls every day, that’s three million girls a year globally, are
subjected to this trauma. If girls survive the shock, blood loss and infection,
they are condemned to lifelong pain and health problems. An estimated 200
million women around the world live with the consequences of FGC.
Researching and writing on the
subject over three years, I searched relentlessly for the best strategies to
prevent the harmful practice. That’s when I discovered the dynamic charity Tostan, led by trailblazing visionary, Molly Melching. Tostan
has been highly successful in West Africa through grassroots education in
villages, transforming millions of lives over the past 25 years.
So in 2016 I trained with Tostan
in Senegal, which inspired me with the ambitious dream of taking the Community
Empowerment Programme to remote villages in East Africa; a dream that was
intensified when I travelled on safari in Kenya, Tanzania, Rwanda and Uganda and
fell in love with the wild country and beautiful people.
Community Work in Kenya
Soon I will return to work in
the Meru community in the lush region surrounding magnificent Mount Kenya, with
my dear friend Millicent Garama, an experienced health worker, whom I met at
the Tostan training.
I will help Millicent care for the
adorable kids, including orphans living with HIV, and get to know the lovely ladies
in the sewing project and help with growing veggies and join in cultural
activities with African music and dancing and traditional food! I might even introduce
the locals to my vegetarian specialities of lentil burgers and hummus!
I will share an abundance of
inspiring, eye-opening, heart-warming experiences with you, my adventurous, curious readers, connecting you with another fascinating culture, transporting
you into the exhilarating possibility of Making A Difference. Join me.
